All about ME!

Well... I wen't home, really didn't want to but what can I do, need to work right? Leaving my Mum and dad really didn't feel good especially since hours before I found out my Dad is being made redundant and they are so stuck in what to do. I want to help but I have no idea what i can do!! Feels aweful!

Got home and instantly boredum set in, malcom was on the computer for hours and hours and I couldn't get on so I was well pissed off. Absolutley fuck all on TV so I went round to my mates, drank lager and watched House and other american dramas to cheer me up! by the end of the night me andy maria and shelly were absolutly off our faces playing strip snap, well none of us are very good at poker, so snap is easier. Shelly is so lovely it is unreal, i really have the hots for her but I darent tell her! I think she liked me too but I don't know what to say, what if she doesn't. ahh why do i bother anyway.

When i eventually got home I went streight to bed and as soon as my head hit the sack I was gone! I had a rather strange dream though, only remember half of it. I was lying, naked in the grounds on Lincoln Castle and I woke up, I jumped to my feet and stood infront of me was Rosa and Amy, I nearly died until they said it was ok and we went for a drink. I was drinking Malibu and coke (which i never drink) and Rosa and amy were drinking pints of bitter, then we danced to folk music! thats all i remember but wierd none the less.

So woke up this morning, jumped in the shower and got dressed, feeling rather good today but nervous although i know i shouldn't be! went to the bus station and got there like 45 minutes early! so i bought a paper and some coke and smoked, alot. I was reading the paper and I cant believe that they aremoaning about 11billion of lottery money beng used in Hospitals and Schools. I mean if they aren't good causes what the fuck is right?

So got on the bus, £5.70 return to louth is a bargain in my opinion. I was the only person on the bus for the entire journey! I was thinking, how much does it cost to run the bus for this journey, Petrol & Wages alone, bear in mind that this journey is over an hour, what money were they making?!!

Was nice seeing Bee again and Megan is the cutest thing alive! The way she says Cat hehe and uses the phone she is so cute. Caught up with Chris and Lincoln Mum AKA Penny. So far having a gread day!:D

Yesterday I thought that my mood was never going to end! I mean I was so shitty for ages but thankfully Nanny McPhee, Narnia, amy & Bee managed to cheer me up :P Really did like sweet FA yesterday, downloaded some more music and got a little over excited when listening to tunes from Team America World Police, "America Fuck Yeah!" What an awesome film!

Last night I watched a movie called "Don't buy kisses anymore" what a crock of shite! I mean it is the worst film ever!

I'm in an okayish mood today, my throat is a little sore but other than that I am healthy for a change! Very unsure about the mood actually, if you put a hint of boredum with pent up sexual frustration and feeling down about going home, chuck in the fact that a friggin cat is staling me, no shit! when i work up this morning there was a cat sitting on the windowsil, when i had a bat it was on the bathroom windowsil, I made breakfast it's on the front lawn, im in the living room it's in the back garden, sat there staring at me. It's not even my mum's cat! I Mean why! why stalk me, maybe an army of uber cats from the woods is stalking me, ready to kidnap me and take me as there leader, how cool would that be, Kind of the Uber Cats Mwhahahahahahaha!

anyway.. Yeah so I'm a little shitty cos I have to go home tomorrow, back to my shitty house and my shitty life, with my shitty job and in Lincoln (which is ok but i'm just fed up of it now). Been at home this week has been great, I mean 1 i did not have to work which was ace, I didnt spend much money (NOt that i have any) because my parents bought everything, I was not in lincoln. I got to speak to my friends that I have not seen since I moved to Lincoln:D I got to speak to people who did not speak to me for one reason or another, I got to make friends out of people that I hardly used to speak to. I've had a great week :d Going out tonight to get shitfaced and hopefully get some action, I mean if i don't im seriously going to give up and become a monk!

I go home tomorrow :(

You know when you get out of bed and you are instantly in a shitty mood, I hate that! Why does it happen!
Got up this morning, well reluctantly rolled out of bed at 9am and went downstairs, lit p and had a cuppa, went to have a bath and covered the missor up with a towel. Normally I'm happy with my apperance, I know I have a little bit of a Post Chrismas belly on (I blame Christmas because it makes me feel better!) but it doesn't normally bother me. I mean I really like my hair atm, which for me is an achievement! But today, no I'm hiddeous! A fat shit who isn't worth the time of day.

I mean my Grandad Bernard 'The Man from accross the river' came over. Tea white 12 sugars don't stir it :P He always tells really shitty jokes that aren't funny that always make you laugh and tell everyone anyway. I did laugh out of politeness but nothing. Still down, then I get mad at myself for being down.. Grrr!

I suppose once I cheer up I will love myself and tell you all some shitty jokes, All being writing them here for my own pleasure....

Tada!...

Last night was awesome! I watched some classic TV last night. Only fools and Horses, Emmerdale Farm!, rising Damp and superted. Man it cheered me up. I also (sad i know) went to the Local club with my Mum and Auntie and played bingo. won almost every game because I rock :P

You know when you fall out with someone you are close to and you know it's for a damn stupid reason. Well not entirely stupid but not worth it but you are far to stubourn to say 1 simple word, sorry. Well i decided to take a leap of faith and jumped, to be honest I expected to fall flatt on my ass but to my surprise I was caught!

I spent a fair bit of time talking to my friend and with the barriers down I explained alot as did she. I can't say how thankful i am to her for this, makes me seem a little more, what's the word. Fullfilled.. Cheesy I know but true non the less!

Today I got up quite early, which makes a bloody change, got up watched some This Morning and dragged my Sisters ass down the Job Centre.
She is being a right Lazy little cow recently and seriously needs to get herself a job rather than releying on the fact her Action Man looser Army boyfriend will get a flat! reality check!

Went shopping and bought my mum a birthday present for tomorrow. Spent all day looking for a friggin router for my mum but they were so expensive, Ebay me thinks.

Then I went to see my auntie Sandy (Joint 2nd Mum) had a laugh beating up my Little Cousin Darryl, and making my cousin gayle run up and down the stairs hoping that she will have her baby before I go home! It was fun!

I think it's fair to say I am in a pretty great mood recently which is such a refreshing change to being like shit! Talking to Amy, Aycan and Tim is keeping me entertained although Tim loves himself today

toodles x

Well

I've had this account for a while now but never posted, but today I feel like talking to a brick wall so this place will do. :P

Today for the first time in a LONG time I have had a good day, nice and relaxed, happy with myself

I have applied for a new job and spoke to some people i havent seen in ages which cheered me up!

Well thats it. Tired will post tomorrow